THANK YOU!

Where do I begin....? We have so many people to thank for all they have done since this whole journey began. From the beginning of October when I was first placed on bedrest, all through the twins hospital stay and even up to now. So many people have done so much for our family and words will never be able to express our true feelings of appreciation for all of you. But I shall try....
I want to thank everyone most of all for your prayers that covered us during this time. I knew without a doubt that someone was daily praying for the boys and us. Thank you to our church family, Central Baptist-Sulphur Springs, for all the meals you provided our family while I was on bedrest for 2 1/2 months. What a blessing!
Thank you to everyone who saved and sent coke tabs for the Ronald McDonald house. We received coke tabs from all over the country, including: Bowie School-Sulphur Springs, Como-Pickton School, Gladewater Church of the Nazarene, Green Acres Baptist Church-Tyler (the Adult Choir and Kidzpraise-especially Angie Smith and Vickie Johnson), West Texas, Mississippi,  and Pennsylvania!! Awesome! Thank you guys so much! We were unable to use all of the tabs we received so we have passed them along to some families who have some children who are very sick and could really use them.
Thanks to everyone for the calls, cards and gifts.
A special thanks to families at Green Acres and Central Baptist for their generous gifts that helped with food and gas on our many trips to Dallas.
Thank you to my family who pitched in and helped when they could. My sister, Bethany, who traveled from Tyler once a week to clean my house.....what a gift! Thank you to Rob's parents for making sure the kids got back and forth to school every day and piano lessons, etc.
A huge thanks to Rob and my kids! They learned jobs they've never had to do before and I learned how to let those jobs be done and accept the outcome. They were all troopers!
I hope I haven't left anyone out. If I did, I'm so sorry and if I think of it, you'll get your very own blog post:-) Most of all we are so thankful for the prayers, for we know the miracles we have been blessed with! We are amazed at God's awesomeness and his blessing of entrusting us with 2 more of his angels!! Thanks everyone!

Eye Update

Just a quick update about our visit to the eye specialist. Josiah's eyes are great. The vessels have developed the way they are supposed to. Gideon's still look the same as they did 2 weeks ago. The doctor  said he has a "funny-looking vessel" in each eye that he is wanting to keep an eye on, but he doesn't need more shots at this point. He feels pretty confident that the vessels will eventually develop correctly, but wants to continue to monitor them. So we go back in 3 weeks. Dallas was much less stressful than Paris! Crazy, I know! I was one of only 4 people in the waiting room! It was awesome! So I'll take the traffic over the "standing-room-only waiting room"! Thanks for the continued prayers!

Other than that, the boys are doing great! They are weighing 8 lbs now! Josiah got the great honor of being circumsized a couple of weeks ago. It has taken a while for that to heal and not be painful to him. So, Monday, Gideon gets the same honor. Heaven help all of us! This has been a great educational experience for all the Stanley children. It helps to have a "before" and "after". So everyone wants to see Gideon and then Josiah to see what exactly he had done and why. It's great (insert sarcasm). Especially for Isaac. He has been going around telling everyone that Josiah had his wee-wee cut off. Nice. I tell him,  "No, he hasn't. He had it fixed where it looks just like yours." Isaac's response, "But, my wee-wee's not cut off!" The logic of a 3 year old :-/

Tornadoes, Easter & Doctors...Oh My!

Well, I've gotten a little behind, so I'll try to briefly update on the past two weeks. Last Tuesday was packed with excitement for us. Personally, I've decided I can live without ANY excitement in my life...but it's not to be. We knew that storms were supposed to be heading our way, so we were keeping an eye on the radar at my office. It was looking like it was going to hit us about the time the kids got out of school. About 2:30, it was getting very dark, so I decided to go ahead and pick Isaac up from the day care that's only about 3 blocks away. As I was running out with him, the rain began. We went back to the office, where Rebekah got dropped off at 3:00. By then, the rain had stopped, so as soon as I got her, I flew the mile down the road to pick up the twins. Still not raining! I headed to the middle school to get the 3 big kids. About 3:25, it's still not doing anything, but getting darker. I was texting Rob and he told me they were holding their buses. Great, I thought. So I asked him if I should go home or stay in town. He told me to stay in town. We live about 20 miles outside of town and it looked worse at our house than in town. By now I knew we were under a tornado warning and I just began to pray that the weather would hold off 10 more minutes and the middle school would let the kids out. I considered going in and getting the kids, since I saw some parents doing that, but hated to leave the 4 little kids in the suburban. I was in a quandry and beginning to feel just a tad bit anxious. At 3:30, it began to rain (of course) AND the sirens began to wail all over town! OH MY WORD!! Full-blown panic was trying to set in! I did not have all my chicks under the protection of my wings and I was not dealing well with it. SO, I decided I was going to get the other chicks! I got Rebekah, Isaac, Gideon and Josiah and we headed across the field in front of the school to go get the others. Once we got inside, we heard that they were not letting any of the kids go....they were under lockdown, also. There were kids and parents lining every hallway. We hung out 5 or 10 minutes when the school said the threat was over and we could get our kids. So I had them call all 3 kids to the front. Aaron made it, but the other 2 did not. The sirens started again and they made the kids go back into the hallways. Now what do I do? I was letting the fear overwhelm me and keep me from thinking clearly. All I wanted to do was get ALL my kids and go home! Once I realized they weren't going to let the other 2 go, I sent Aaron to the suburban with 3 of the little ones. I soon followed with the other because I was more concerned about them in the car then the ones in the school. We sat in the car about 15 more minutes when I decided it was enough. I was going to get my kids! They told me I could go get my kids, I just had to find them. I knew about where they were...the hall that was the farthest away! So I was finally able to gather them up and get everyone together. Thank you Lord! That was 4:30 and they let the kids go at that time. We made it home in between storms, but a bad one was headed towards our house. So I put everyone in the laundry room and we hung out there while a fierce storm passed over us complete with hail hitting the windows. Thankfully, that was the worst of it. Rob was still not home at this point. They had put the kids on the buses to bring them home and the sheriff called and told them to get them back in the building. He finally got home at 6:45!! Man, what a day! God protected us and kept us calm, even through my anxiety and fear. The babies slept through it all:-)
Easter weekend was great. The kids showed their steers in Mineola and did very well. Sunday morning we actually got everyone dressed up, took a picture and made it to church on time. WOW!
Update on the boys' eyes: We went back to Paris to see the eye doctor. UGH! Our appointment was 12:15 and we saw the doctor at 2:15 and, yes, the waiting room was standing room only again! Josiah's eyes look good. Gideon's was not so good. The doctor is seeing signs of the eye disease coming back and he may have to have the shots in his eyes again. We go back in 2 weeks for him to check again and decide what to do. I respectfully requested to be sent to the Dallas office and not to come back to Paris:-) I may regret it, but 2 hours in a full waiting room with 2 hungry babies is not my idea of a good time!
The boys are doing really well. They slept last night from 11:00 until 5:00. Sweet! Ok gotta go clean up the 3 year old and feed the babies. A mother's work......

The Suburban Blues

Let the drama continue.....You ever have a day where you KNOW you should have stayed in bed? Friday was that day for me! I have gone back to work this week so when Rob leaves to drive his school bus, I have about 20-30 minutes to get the 7 kids in the suburban or we will all be late. I don't think I mentioned that we bought me my very own suburban over Spring Break. I love it! It is very nice and even has a button I can push that brings the brake and gas pedals closer to me! Awesome for short people like me:-) BUT I can't drive it right now because we don't all fit in it. We need a bench seat in the middle-hopefully that will happen next week. Anyway, so I've been driving Rob's suburban this week. So we all get loaded up Friday and get ready to leave and as I walk around to get in, I notice the front tire-----it's flat! Nice! So I tell the kids unload and move to my suburban and they can just squeeze up in the back. So we unload car seats, car seat bases, kids, backpacks, trumpet, clarinet, lunches, etc., oh yeah, babies too:-) We get everybody in my suburban, I go to crank it.....Nothing! No click-click, no wrrrr-wrrr, complete silence! Really??!!! Yes, I can't make this stuff up. I honestly considered going back to bed, but I had a meeting at 1:00. So I knew I had until then to figure out what to do. One problem, my brain wasn't functioning on a full night's sleep so no solution was even coming to mind. So we unloaded again and went in the house. Then I decided that we just needed to change the tire. So I got to work with the kids helping me. We didn't get very far when Rob called and told me to air up the tire and pull over to the other suburban and jump it off. That's why I keep him around! It took about 15-20 minutes, but we got it aired up enough to move it next to the other one. But, alas, the riding lawn mower was in my parking space and had to be moved. Guess what? It had a flat and wouldn't crank:-) So the boys and I just pushed it out of the way. That was my first time to jump off a vehicle, so I was very excited when it cranked and nothing exploded! So we loaded back up AGAIN and got the kids to school by 9:30. The babies slept through it all!
The boys have had a good week. Josiah rolled from his stomach to his back 2 times tonight. Gideon is almost 7 pounds. They are growing so fast already!

Home at Last

Gideon is finally home!! He arrived Saturday and as many of you said "Let the fun begin!" OK, well, I'm still waiting for the fun:-) Three hours of sleep last night....not so fun:-( And Gideon isn't the problem, Josiah is having some tummy issues or he really has me snowed and thinks he should be held 24/7. Right now I can tell them apart, but the kids are really struggling. If you just take a quick glance at their faces, they are hard to tell apart. I have to look at the shape of their head. I'm trying to refrain from using the permanent marker, but we haven't ruled that out yet:-) Isaac is constantly asking me, "Is this Gideon or Josiah, mama?" The kids have been awesome with them. They love to hold them and are really good at calming them down when they are fussy. The boys are on the same feeding schedule, at least. Josiah will polish off a bottle in 10 minutes flat. Gideon likes to savor his and take about 30 minutes! Gideon weighs 6 lbs 8 ozs and Josiah is 7 lbs. They are continuing to grow and thrive. AND Josiah rolled over Friday!!!! What??? He's too little for that, you say! That's exactly what I said. They scoot in circles on the floor and off their blanket. Amazing! I have to keep reminding myself they weren't born last week, even though they look like it. Stay tuned for updates on their eyes and my expression of thanks to everyone!

Rachel's Story

We were supposed to pick Gideon up Wednesday. We kept the kids out of school and were planning to go get him and then go to Rachel's doctor appointment. As we were getting ready to walk out the door, the doctor called to say he couldn't go home today. He got a "little" upset during his eye exam the night before and they had to give him oxygen, so he wasn't ready to let him go home, maybe Saturday. So we are just in a holding pattern, praying he doesn't have any more episodes and we can bring him home this weekend. We shall see.
We still had to take Rachel to Scottish Rite for her appointment so we all loaded up to go do that. For those who don't know, Rachel is our other miracle. She is our 12-year old daughter, twin to Samuel. When she was 8 years old, she began to have trouble getting around. She had to have help brushing or washing her hair, tying her shoes, getting up from the floor, going up and down stairs and she would fall easily. We finally found out she had dermatomyositis. Her immune system was overworking, attacking her muscles. This is why she was so weak. She was trying to get ready for the soccer season, but she just couldn't keep up with the other girls anymore. The doctors immediately started her on IV and oral steroids and methotrexate shots. She did the IV steroids for a year and was gradually weaned off the oral steroids about a year later. She is now being weaned off the methotrexate as well. God has healed her body and she is now in remission. At her last visit, the doctors changed her meds to pills instead of the shot. Yesterday they lowered her dose to 4 pills once per week. In 4 months when she goes back, they'll lower it to 3 pills. So by next August (2013), she should be off all meds completely! That is an amazing answer to prayers! I'll never forget our first visit to Scottish Rite and she couldn't even bend over to pick a pen up off the floor. Now she aces every muscle test they throw at her. Last year, she had her best soccer season yet. Through it all, she has kept a positive attitude and a smile on her face.
So if anyone ever tries to tell you God doesn't perform miracles any longer, just send them my way. I've got 3 beautiful miracles (well, 7 actually) to show them:-)

More answered prayers

Just a quick update to let you know that Josiah's eyes are much better! The procedure worked and the disease is regressing! Thank you Lord! The eye doctor doesn't need to see the boys for 3 more weeks. Josiah is continuing to do well. We are hopeful that we will bring Gideon home this week. It was supposed to be early in the week, but he had a couple of bradys on Thursday so they want to watch him until this Thursday. He's on "brady watch"! Sounds like something between the Brady Bunch and Baywatch, idk! Crazy! Anyway, so hopefully Thursday will be the day. The eye doctor is supposed to look at Gideon tomorrow when he's at the hospital, then I can take them both to see him in 3 weeks. Taking twin babies to the standing room only doctor in Paris doesn't sound like a good time to me;-( But it will be entertaining, I am guaranteed that!

Birthdays and Miracles

Today Rachel and Samuel are 12 years old! So hard to believe I'm about to have 3 teenagers. Aaron does not enjoy this 2 1/2 months because he is also 12 until May 4. Fun times! Gideon is doing great! He is off everything. No oxygen, no feeding tube (since he ripped it out twice), no meds, no more respiratory therapy....it's awesome! He should come home early next week. He weighs 5 lbs 14 ozs, but he looks bigger than that because he has a triple chin:-) So cute! He has come so far since his 1 lb 9 ozs! He passed his car seat test, too. I think he finally decided it was time to go home and I think the nurses are ready, since the other day when he pitched such a fit he made himself throw up. Nice! He had an MRI on Wednesday for his head and everything looks good. I'm amazed when I look at them, at the miracles they are! Josiah is doing great as well. He goes back to see Dr Spencer on Monday to see how his eyes are doing. We went to the pediatrician last Monday and he weighed 6 lbs 8 ozs. I think he's getting spoiled. He's happy as long as someone is holding him or paying him some attention:-) I guess that's why he's happy most of the time because he gets plenty of both.

Josiah's week

I have to give props to the NICU nurses at Baylor. They have a very demanding, 12-hour per day, job and they take care of the babies and the parents with a smile on their face. AND before they send you home with your little bundle of joy they get him on a 4-hour feeding schedule!!! Woo-Hoo! You can set the clock by this boy. He begins to wake up about 30 minutes before he eats, feed him and he either goes back to sleep or he'll stay awake for a while looking around. He's only had a few fussy moments when his tummy hurt or his feeding was late. Like the other day in Paris when we had the follow-up with the eye specialist. OH MY WORD! I walked into the waiting room and it was standing room only! The receptionist says "He's running an hour behind", but the nurse says "We'll get you in quick because I know he only wants to check his eyes because of yesterday's procedure." Great! So I didn't wait 1 hour.... I waited 2 hours!!! They don't want you to feed him in case he spits up during the exam and might aspirate, so Josiah went about 6 hours between feedings. He was NOT happy with me at all! The doctor didn't see any change yet, but saw no sign of infection or complications. But we made good friends in the waiting room with several folks. I mean, we spent a lot of time together....we bonded!
Tomorrow the boys will be 3 months old. Gideon is only on .01 on his oxygen, you can't get any lower than that. So hopefully this week he'll come off that and start taking all of his bottles. He is taking most of them, but every now and then still has to have some through his tube. They are getting him ready, so it won't be long now!

Happy Anniversary and an eye exam

Today Rob and I celebrate 14 years of wedded bliss. That averages out to a kid every other year! LOL!! If only....! That might've been easier:-) The hospital called yesterday and the eye specialist, Dr. Spencer, wanted to see Josiah before next week, so we went to his office today in Dallas. We left home at 10:00 for a 12:30 appointment and got back home at 5:00. Long day! After looking at Josiah's eyes, he really felt he needed the shots like Gideon had to keep his retinas from detaching. But instead of having him go to the hospital for it, he did it in his office. Sweet! except I can't watch:-( He puts a clip in Josiah's eye to hold it open and literally uses an unbent paperclip to help him examine the eye. Just thinking about it makes me almost pass out! I was glad he did it today so I didn't have to drive back to Dallas tomorrow. BUT he wants to see him tomorrow in his Paris office to check him again. At least I can handle the driving better. SO ready for Spring Break. Gideon is doing much better on his oxygen, he is on minimal amounts. He still isn't taking only bottles, so not sure how long before he gets to come home. They would be 38 weeks today! People at the doctor's office kept asking me how old Josiah was. When I said 12 weeks, they were a little stunned since he's not even 6 lbs.

Always an Adventure...

Josiah is now home!!! He's been snoozing on dad most of the evening. He is doing great so far, eating every 4 hours. The eye doctor looked at him and said his eyes are the same, so he'll just see him at his office next week. The kids have been so excited to finally meet him. Isaac just grinned all the way home. He kept asking, can he walk? can he crawl? can he talk? can he eat ice cream? At one point he said, "Mom, why does no mean no?" Samuel and Rebekah couldn't keep from touching him and poor Rachel just had to look from a distance. She is running fever. We got the call to come get Josiah around 10:30. I gathered up all the kids and Rob, we came home and got the suburban, and headed to Dallas. We went through Chick-Fil-A for Rob and I some lunch and about that time Isaac started crying. He said "My throw-up hurts." After asking him 150 questions about what hurt, did his stomach hurt, did he need to go potty, etc, we pulled over and got him out. He didn't seem pale, but he convinced us he was going to throw-up. But no luck! So we gave him the Chick-Fil-A sack and told Rachel to watch him and use the sack if he needed to throw up. Yes, poor Rachel was the unlucky one who sat in the back with him:-) After about 5 minutes, he was crying and sticking his head in the sack. Picture this....we finally get to bring a baby home and we're headed to Dallas with a child who's bawling and sticking his head down in the Chick-Fil-A sack. Really???? Are we dreaming? This can't REALLY be happening!! Oh yes it can. This is our life!!! He then declared he needed a potty. So we made it to Rockwall, found a gas station and I took him in. No luck! So I questioned him some more. This is when he said "My throw-up hurts" and pointed to his throat AND he told me his stomach didn't hurt. SO, smart mom that I am, I finally realized he meant his throat hurt. Rob asked me if I had looked at it. Well, there's a novel concept! Didn't think of that! (No, I hadn't actually) So I looked and guess what... it was swollen to his uvula (that's the hangy-down thing). BAD MOM! Never fear, 2 tylenol and a push-up pop and all was well again. We finally made it to the hospital, just took 3 hours:-) We go to get on the elevator and 2 women act like they can't decide if they want to get on or not. They finally decide to get on after Rob almost lost an arm trying to hold the door for them. Well, one lady barely made it on, she was weaving pretty bad. We got to their floor and the other lady just about ran into the wall of the elevator when she was trying to get off... I think she was having trouble pinpointing exactly where the door was in her condition. You gotta watch those elevator doors...they'll move around on ya:-/
I guess we are experienced enough as parents, Rob signed a few papers, I fed Josiah, we told Gideon good-bye and we were outta there! We were home before dark. It was hard to leave Gideon, but I know he'll be with us soon. He's doing better on his oxygen, but there is a chance he may have to come home on some oxygen and the heart monitor. We'll see how he does over the next week. Josiah weighs 5 lbs 14 ozs and Gideon is 5 lbs 5 ozs. They are amazing little miracles and I'm overwhelmed at how good God is. Thank you everyone for your prayers! Please continue to pray that we get Gideon home soon and that they get through the rest of RSV season with no issues. Let the adventure continue!

Ready or Not.....

The playpen is set up, the changing table is ready, the car seat is ready, the suburban now can carry 9 people...we are ready!!! We just need a baby:-) or two! The nurse practitioner called today and basically said we won't know anything until the eye doctor looks at Josiah tomorrow. If he needs the eye procedure, he will have to stay, but if he doesn't need the procedure, he can come home Monday! How's that for planning! It's very tricky to plan, yet not plan. I stayed home yesterday to get things ready and even hung some curtains that we bought about a year ago! Rob has started working on a garden. It was nice to get some things on our list done. The NP said they will try and lower Gideon's oxygen level this week, but there's a possibility he may have to come home on oxygen. I will post as soon as I am able after hearing from the doctor.

Leap Day Update

Gideon weighs 5 lbs now!!! The eye surgeon came by last night while I was there, to check Gideon's eyes. He said they look great! He will continue to monitor him because the vessels are still developing and  he could develop problems at any time. I cuddled with them last night. They are getting so big! I'm amazed at how far they've come. Josiah weighs 5 lbs 8 ozs. He had another brady (dip in his heart rate) yesterday. He is supposed to go 7 days without one in order for us to bring him home without a heart monitor. I think it had been 5 days since he had one. Josiah no longer has a feeding tube so all feeds are by bottle and he's taking about 60 cc's every 4 hours. Gideon was taking a bottle today and got a little choked up so they stopped and gave him the rest in his tube. Rob has an appointment to get 2 bench seats put in the suburban, making it a 9 passenger vehicle. The fun never ends!

Disappointment

Well we don't get to bring Josiah home Wednesday. The doctor called today and said the eye doctor had looked at his eyes and he is showing signs of Stage 3 Retinopothy of Prematurity (RoP), which is what Gideon had. The eye doctor will check him again Monday and then determine if Josiah needs the same eye procedure that Gideon had to have. So he told us we could go ahead and take him home Wednesday, but we would have to go to Plano to see the eye doctor Monday and if he needs the eye procedure, we would have to re-admit him to the hospital. We both agreed it was best for Josiah to stay put until the doctor determined what needed to be done. So while we're disappointed that he won't be coming home this week, we continue to trust that God has a plan. Who knows? That increases the chances of them coming home together. Gideon is on 1 liter of oxygen and doing very well. He has taken 2 bottles so far today. Gideon weighs 4 lbs 14 ozs and Josiah is 5 lbs 7 ozs. Please pray that all goes well with Josiah's eyes.

Hopkins County Steer Show

What a week!!!! We've survived a milestone birthday AND a steer show....and did it with style:-) But first, the best news of all....Josiah should be coming home Wednesday!!!!! He is doing well and if he has no major issues between now and then, we'll go pick him up and bring him home that day! He no longer has the feeding tube! I am excited and a little nervous too. WHY? It's not like I haven't ever done this before. He's about the size Samuel was when we brought him and Rachel home and yet I feel like I'm bringing home a baby for the first time. Maybe it's just because of how early they were and what problems they have had and could have, but I have to realize that fear and anxiety is not from God. I must remind myself to rest in Him and trust Him for the outcome. I mean, hasn't He proven that over and over with these boys? So I will remind myself what He has brought us through so far and know that He doesn't leave us just because we are bringing the boys home. The nurse last night seemed to think Gideon could possibly come home the next Wednesday. He is doing better on his oxygen and hopefully they will lower that again this week. He has taken a bottle the past two days. The kids are getting excited about meeting their brothers for the first time!!

The kids (Aaron, Rachel and Samuel) showed their steers last night at our county show. This is what they work all year to prepare for. Aaron got 4th in his class, out of 6. Rachel was in the same class and got 2nd. Samuel was in a different class and got 1st place! Then he made Reserve Champion!!!! (This is the 2nd best steer of the 24 steers that were there) He was SO excited!! Rachel won this award last year, so he had already declared it was his turn! So now they both have a championship belt buckle. I guess next year will be Aaron's turn to get a buckle. Rachel also won Intermediate Showmanship for the 2nd year in a row. This is where the judge is looking at the kids and not the animals. It still surprises me a little when Rachel walks in the ring. She is so calm, no matter what her animal does. She has an air of confidence about her and...oh yeah.... and then she smiles! Seriously....what judge wouldn't pick her! Her whole face lights up and her eyes sparkle and suddenly I see what a mature and beautiful young lady she has become! It's an awesome thing to see. Aaron did really well in showmanship as well. He and Rachel and another young man we have shown with for years were the top 3 in showmanship. I think all 3 bring out the best in each other! That's what I love about showing. They are all very competitive but when they step out of the ring they slap hands and congratulate each other for doing so well. Oh, and all 3 Stanley's made the SALE!!! Woo-Hoo! That's what they've been working for all year. So today we go for the sale and awards. Rachel will get a blanket for winning showmanship and Samuel will get his belt buckle! I'll go see the babies tomorrow since I can't breathe today, after being in the barn all day yesterday! Good times!

5 pounds!

Josiah hit 5 pounds last night! He's doing good on his bottles, but still not able to do only bottles. So it will be at least next week, but hopefully it will be next week, when he gets to come home. He's doing really well! Gideon was finally lowered to 1 1/2 liters on his oxygen and he's doing well at that level. He weighs 4 lbs 7 ozs. They have put him on 2 new meds, both to try and help get his oxygen levels down. I went to see them last night and we just snuggled! Nothing else new....so tired....going to bed:-)

Bath Time

I went to see the boys last night and gave them their first tub bath!!! So exciting! They were wide awake the whole time and seemed to enjoy it. They weren't fussy about it at all. They were sound asleep when I got there because they had been loved on by Mimi and Papa and Aunt Bethany and Aunt Blair, so they had a big day. Gideon wasn't happy with me for waking him up but he got over it pretty quick. It only took me 2 HOURS to bathe both of them!! Really????? I'm thinking we may adopt the hillbilly method of only bathing on Saturdays! WOW! We were all exhausted when it was over. Gideon took his pacifier and went fast asleep. I started giving Josiah his bottle, but he was really getting tired. I had to leave before he finished just to get home before I went to sleep! Gideon had another brain scan yesterday and the nurse told me the ventricles in his brain are shrinking (which is what we want). They have reduced from .75 to .5 and they are looking much better. That is an overwhelming answer to prayer!!! His head size is looking normal now and his eyes seem to focus better since the procedure they did. He looks so good! Gideon weighed 4 lbs 6 ozs and Josiah weighed 4 lbs 12 ozs. Josiah looks great too! The nurse felt like Josiah might be coming home next weekend, but I don't know. He took 3 bottles in a row yesterday, but didn't get very far on the third one. He has to be taking all his feeds by bottle and he doesn't always want to wake up to do that. She said if not next weekend, she felt like for sure the first weekend in March. Woo-Hoo! BUT not little Gideon. After I gave him his bottle the other night, the nurse had to raise his oxygen to 60%. She was afraid he had aspirated, but after running tests they said he didn't. So we can't give him any more bottles until he's come down on his oxygen. He knows what to do, so hopefully after he gets off the oxygen he'll take off with the bottle-feeding. So will Josiah get to come home for my birthday????? (That would be Thursday and a bittersweet, significant, monumental, historical, SAY WHAT?? day that lines up with my "Advanced Maternal Age"!) SIGH..... OR Will it be the day of the county show where we are showing 4 steers and will be busy all day Friday and Saturday????? Stay tuned.....

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Sorry it's been a while since I updated. Hope your honey is being sweet to you today. I went to see the boys by myself last night and didn't get home until 10:30. When I woke up this morning I had a dozen pink roses on the table and homemade cards from all the kids with a list of things they are going to help me do this week! So sweet! I especially loved Aaron's card (my 12 year old) who drew a picture of me and him, where he is much taller than me:-) I am beginning to have to look up at him, but not THAT much! At least Rachel didn't draw a picture of me wearing her shoes (since  I borrowed her boots Sunday):-\ The boys are doing really well. Dr. Spencer, the eye dr, was supposed to see Gideon today, but haven't heard if he could tell anything yet from the medicine. Gideon weighs 4 lbs 1 oz now!!! Josiah is 4 lbs 8 ozs!! Such big boys! They are on straight formula now and they increased both boys feeds today. Josiah is doing great eating from the bottle. I got to feed Gideon his first bottle last night!!! Yay! He only took about 12 cc's, but for his first one, he did great! Gideon is back into his open crib now. He is doing much better on his oxygen. He's still at 2 liters but holding pretty steady at 30%. BIG NEWS: Josiah is off the caffeine. He has to be off it for 7 days before he can come home! This is the first test. He has to also be taking all feeds by bottle and he has to pass the car seat test. I took his car seat to the hospital. They will put him in it for 2 hours (since that's how far away we live) and he has to not have any major breathing or heart episodes while he's in it. OH MY! To think he could be home by the end of the month is very surreal. He just has to keep doing good on his feeding! I'll keep you updated. I'm loving getting to hold and snuggle with them. I held both of them together last night. Of course, even at 4 lbs your arms go to sleep! Rachel and Samuel are both sick with high fever and headaches. Flu test was negative. Doctor thinks it's viral:-( Just praying I don't share that with the babies AND that no one else here gets it. Gotta go.....my sweetie is taking me out on a date. Don't know where we are eating, I think he's going to surprise me. Whatever will we talk about, just the two of us??? THE KIDS, I'm sure:-)
UPDATE: I just spoke with Gideon's nurse and she said the eye doctor said Gideon's eyes look better and he believes the disease is regressing!!!! Thank You Lord for answered prayers! He isn't going to check him again for 2 weeks! Did I mention that we serve an AWESOME GOD??? Just sayin'......:-)

Update

Gideon's procedure went well. It only took a couple of minutes. They numbed his eyes so he didn't feel a thing. He just sucked on his pacifier the whole time and handled it like a champ! It will be a couple of weeks before we know if it worked. The doctor said he would check on Gideon again next week. Thank you everyone for your prayers. While I was a little anxious since I couldn't be there, I felt at peace about it because I knew so many people were praying and that God was in control!

Prayer Request

Gideon's eye exam did not go well. His eyes had gotten worse. So at 10:00 in the morning, the eye doctor will be performing a quick procedure where he injects medicine into Gideon's eyes. This medicine should keep the retinas from detaching. If it doesn't work, there is a laser treatment that they can try as well, but the doctor said this medicine is very effective. We got to see them tonight and I held both boys. Gideon was wide awake and alert and looking around the whole time. He's very serious, whereas, Josiah will smile a lot more. They are both continuing to gain weight and will be weaned to formula this week. Gideon is still continuing to have drops in his oxygen and breathing rates. It is suspected these might be caused by reflux so the nurses are going to try laying him on his left side and slowing down his feedings. Hopefully that will work. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

One step forward, two steps back

The boys seem to be enjoying their new room. Josiah is doing great, continuing to work on mastering the bottle. Gideon has had to go back into his box, though. They also had to go back up on his oxygen from 1 liter to 2 liters. He was just having to work too hard with the lower oxygen level and keeping his temp up. They said he had done much better since making the changes. They both had another eye exam Monday. Josiah's was great. Of course, Gideon is going to be our difficult child:-) His was not so good. The vessels are larger than they should be and there is some concern that the retina could detach. There is a procedure they can do to keep this from happening, so, the eye doctor is supposed to check on him again this week to see how he is progressing and determine if he needs to do that procedure. So that is our prayer request for this week. Of course, we are praying for complete healing of Gideon's eyes, but also for wisdom for the doctors as they determine what to do.

Movin' on up

The boys are getting so big!! Josiah weighs 3 lbs 15 ozs and Gideon weighs 3 lbs 7 ozs! Gideon is moving to an open crib today and a low-flow canula AND they are moving to the feeding and growing hall!!! WOW!!!! Josiah is still doing great drinking from a bottle. He only does this every other feeding because it tires him out. Gideon hasn't started that yet. They are both wearing clothes and maintaining their temps very well. They will be 8 weeks old tomorrow! Hard to believe!

Groundhog Day

Happy Groundhog Day, everyone! I haven't heard if he saw his shadow or not, but we aren't celebrating that day. We are celebrating Rebekah's 7th birthday!!! Hard to believe my baby girl is 7 years old today. I think she's enjoyed her day: no school, swimming, lunch out, calls and texts from friends and family and an afternoon nap (oh, maybe that one was for me;-) This has been an eventful 3 days. We finally made it into the barn Tuesday around 7:00pm. We quickly unloaded, left the kids to tend to the steer and Rob and I left to park the trailer. We had to drive about 2 miles away to a special lot the Stock Show has for parking trailers. Then we went back and got the kids. We checked into the hotel around 9:30 (see, I wasn't too far off), they got to swim a little while mom ordered pizza and had some lovely time alone! I actually laid out everyone's pajamas and toothbrushes! That never happens at home! We were up and at the barn by 7:30 Wednesday. Buddy, the steer, had to be weighed and classified. Now, I must explain this process, as we've only been through it 2 other times and we usually go as a Misc./ Crossbred animal so they just let you through. But THIS time we had a Hereford and he has to go through and let them declare that he is a Hereford or not. Aaron had to walk the steer through a tunnel that leads to the arena. Then he turns in his weight card to one set of gentlemen. Then he walks across the arena to another set of gentlemen who are there to decide your fate. We all went with him so we looked like his entourage tagging along behind him.  Here's how it works: 3 men all have on a utility apron with pockets (my dad used to keep nails in it). Inside those pockets are black and white chips or marbles (I think). Anyway, it's something that indicates their vote is yes or no. I'm not sure what they have, but for now I will assume it's a chip or marble. They look over your animal and determine if it is truly the breed you say it is. We watched this with the Angus breed. The men decide, then reach in their little apron, pull out a "marble" and drop it in a coffee can that a 4th man is holding. They do this in such a way that we can't tell how they are voting. The coffee-can-man looks and if at least 2/3 are yes, he shakes his head yes and waves you through. HOWEVER, if he walks up to the exhibitor and shows him inside the coffee can.... this is BAD! He tells you basically "sorry 'bout your bad luck, have a nice day" Then a 5th man chases you down, basically says "sorry 'bout your bad luck, have a nice day..... oh and by the way give me your exhibitor number!"At one point they did this to 5 kids in a row! This was worse than watching a movie on the Lifetime channel!! It was killing me! I actually had tears in my eyes. I thought, "This can NOT happen to Aaron. I'm not sure I could handle it." Because then you are done! You don't get to show and you can't leave yet because they don't release the steers until Friday! But Aaron got through! The good thing about this process is, it does prevent some from cheating and trying to pass off an animal for one breed when they know it isn't. We were up at 4 am today to head to the barn and get Buddy ready to show. Aaron didn't make the sale. That's okay. He did an excellent job showing his steer! There were about 30 steers in his class and only the top 10 make the sale. So it was a  good day, a little disappointing, but we learned a lot and it's been a good experience for all of us AND we did have a little bit of fun:-)
OK-----quick update on the boys. They are doing so good!!!! Keep the prayers coming because they are working. Gideon is doing really well on his canula. He was awake a little last night. His brain scan went very well. We met with the doctor last night and he said the ventricles in Gideon's brain were getting smaller, which is what they want them to do. The larger they are, the more the risk for hydrocephalus. He would have been concerned if the fluid had built up causing the sutures of his head to separate, but that is not the case for Gideon. Praise the Lord!! He is now trying to fatten Gideon up. Josiah is doing awesome! He is not on any oxygen at all!!!! and hasn't been since yesterday! He is doing very good. I got to put him in a cute brown outfit AND I got to feed him a bottle!!! Woo-Hoo! That little turkey ate 20 ml's of milk. He was awake and alert, looking around and trying to hold his head up. The nurse tonight said she fed him 29 ml's by bottle---that's almost his whole feeding!! WOW! I better stock up on formula now! God has truly blessed us! Hopefully it won't be long before I'm giving Gideon a bottle.

At the Stock Show

Well we made it to the Ft Worth Stock Show....parking lot:-) Yes, we arrived at 1:00 pm. (It takes awhile to pack for 5 kids and 2 adults:-/ ) It's now almost 5:00 pm and we are probably at least an hour from getting into the barn. Luckily we came prepared, but it doesn't make waiting in the suburban with 5 kids any easier. We have computers, DVD players, food, drinks, pillows, phones, toys, books (Rachel is now on the 2nd book in the Chronicles of the Kings series), ipods and Rebekah is dutifully working on her homework, Ms Ali:-) She's such a good student! Rebekah has been taking pictures of all the stock trailers in the parking lot because this is a "you must see it to believe it" moment/hour. So MAYBE we'll get to our hotel before 10:00, we'll see. I called about the boys this morning and Josiah was getting a new "convertible" bed. He will be in the open crib now. AND the nurse told me I could bring them some clothes because they are having to regulate their own temp!!! I can't tell you how excited this made me. I really don't know why, other than it seems like such a big step and less things will be attached to them. Oh my! The reality that they will be coming home soon is beginning to sink in! We are probably still a month away, but STILL! I know I've had twin babies at home before but that was before "Advanced Maternal Age" was present. Can I do this? Will I be able to stay awake during the middle of the night feedings and not drop them????? What if they have problems? What if THEY won't stay awake during their feedings?? (We used to put ice on Rachel's foot to wake her up because she would fall asleep) Oh My Word!! OK, panic attack is over. I know I can do these things and more with God right beside me holding my hand (and my head when I get sleepy) for he hasn't given me a spirit of fear! Philippians 4:13! So hopefully we will get to go see them tomorrow and get the results of Gideon's neuro scan straight from the doctor himself. I'll let you know. And, yes, we're still in the parking lot:-)

BIG Boys!!

Gideon finally hit 3 lbs 1 oz!! He is such a big boy! He is also no longer on the "Darth Vader" mask, he is on the canula! Woo-Hoo! He is doing great too, only at 25-30% oxygen. Josiah is a little piggy. They increased his feeds to 32 cc's and he now weighs 3 lbs 11 ozs! They also increased his caffeine! Seriously?? I don't think he needs any more:-) He'll be hooked on coffee before he comes home from the hospital! In my mind, I think I know what the caffeine is for, but not sure I can explain it right, so I'll get back to you on that. When we got to the hospital Saturday, the nurse wanted us to come look at Josiah. He has rolled up blankets all around him and it looks like he's in a boat. He was flopped out hanging over the side of his boat with his leg hanging out the bottom. When I held Josiah, he stayed awake most of the time and began rooting when he got hungry and loved his pacifier! The nurse said those are all signs he is beginning to get ready to eat from a bottle. She also said it could take up to a month for them to master eating from the bottle and continuing to gain weight. They will be 7 weeks old tomorrow, so maybe we are halfway to bringing them home!

Great Expectations

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." Yeah, that was as far as I got in THAT book (and I may have it backwards). Anyway, that pretty much sums up life around here. The BEST is that I finally got to hold my Gideon!!!! He loved it too. He went right to sleep:-) I have that effect on people:-) The nurse put a heated blanket on him to keep him warm and the alarm on his bed went off, "Baby Too Hot". So we took that one off and put on a non-heated blanket- his temperature went up again. So we just let him hang out in his diaper! Guess I put off too much heat...that's why I'm always freezing.  Then Josiah's nurse wrapped him up and gave him to me. I got to hold them both at the same time!! Finally, reunited after 6 1/2 weeks! They truly have red hair. How does THAT happen??? Their great-grandfathers influence! So funny! Gideon did not have a brain scan this week. The doctors put it off until next week. The nurse and I agreed this was a good sign. Gideon weighs 2 lbs 15 ozs. He is down to 30% on his oxygen so he's finally getting the hang of the mask. Josiah is doing amazing on his canula. He weighs 3 lbs 8 ozs. They both look so much bigger already! The other BEST is that the suburban has been running for 3 days straight! Woo-Hoo!!! It even got us to Dallas and back last night.
The WORST is that Snoopy (the dog) is no longer with us. He figured out how to get the "cone of shame" off and no matter how many plastic sacks I put around his splint, he got them off. SO his leg got infected. It was not pretty. I took him to the vet for them to look at it and I'm afraid I was blubbering like an idiot when I left. I'm not even an animal person. I'm allergic to cats, I don't really get attached to dogs and the steers....well we know where they end up:-) So I think it was just one of those days. Anyway, I won't be showing my face in there for a while. They probably think I'm a little unstable!
I am thankful for the gift of everyday our boys have, because they get stronger each day. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

Suburban STILL for sale (or a bad country song)

Today we took the oldest four kids with us to Dallas for Rachel's labwork and to see the babies (or for 3 of them, the waiting room). We stopped in Rockwall to eat lunch at El Chico and we had the best time. I laughed more than I have laughed in the past 3 months! My kids are pretty amazing (at least I think so) and funny. I'm sure the folks around us weren't too happy that we laughed and giggled all through lunch, but that's okay. I couldn't help but just study them and thank God for the blessing of each one of them and for the stage that they are at right now. I know too well how quickly it will go by. Anyway, by the time we did Rachel's bloodwork at Scottish Rite and got over to Baylor, we didn't have a lot of time, but I did get to hold Josiah for a few minutes. He is on the canula. Yea!!! I can see his whole face and head. He smiled at me too:-) Sweet baby boy! He weighs 3 lbs 3 ozs. They are beginning to talk about feeding him with a bottle and once he masters that, we will talk about bringing him home. WOW! Gideon is still on the mask. He is doing much better. His oxygen levels were staying between 30-35%. Much better! He still weighs 2 lbs 12 ozs. Both eye exams were fine for now and will be repeated in 2 weeks. On the way back to town, we swung by the house to pick up the suburban because Rob wanted to get the alternator replaced. He was getting warning signs that it might be about to go out. He and Rebekah hopped in the suburban and I headed to town to take Aaron to his basketball game and pick up Isaac. I got almost into town before Rob called and said they were on the side of Hwy 11:-) Really??? Three strikes and you're gone, suburban!! This is 2! Even though, it always manages to get us off the road and to a safe place. Thank you, Lord! Our guardian angels are earning some overtime! All we could do is laugh when I told Rob it's like a country song: my babies are in the hospital, my dog's got a broke leg and my car left me on the side of the road! Laughter is like a medicine;-)

So far, so good

Well, I did not get to hold Gideon yet. He is still off the vent, but he is having to work very hard and his settings are at the max they can be. The doctor is trying to keep him off the vent so he tweaked the settings a little. SO for now we are off. Our prayer is that he will be able to stay off...we shall see. They will let me hold him when he is more stable. Just talked to the nurse and she said he is doing okay. It's still a possibility that he might have to go back on the vent, but he's holding his own right now. They did a chest Xray this morning and it looked good. Josiah is up to 28 cc's with his feeds and his nurse for tonight is not happy with him AT ALL.  He has pulled out his feeding tube 3 times since 6:00 pm. I think once was when the feed was taking place and made a mess in his bed:-) She said she can't keep his hands away from everything. That boy is going to wear us out! I can already picture the trouble that he and Isaac will get into! Good news for Josiah: the nurse said he might get to move to an oxygen canula (prongs in his nose) tomorrow! He has done so good on the mask. Both boys have eye exams tomorrow and Gideon will have a brain scan Wednesday. Please continue to pray for Gideon that his lungs get stronger and he can stay off the vent and that the brain scan goes well and shows improvement. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to be released to go back to work :-( and Rachel has blood work at Scottish Rite. Busy day and we'll swing by to see the boys too!

Off the vent...

Great answer to prayer: Gideon is off the vent!! However, please continue to pray for him that he can stay off of it. He is currently having to have 56% oxygen whereas Josiah is at room air which is 21%. The nurses have prepared us to have the vent put back on, just in case. Hopefully I can hold him tomorrow, no matter what happens. If they put him back on the vent it will be a different one and I should still get to hold him. He will have another brain scan on Wednesday. Josiah is doing great. He hit 3 lbs 1 oz today!!! He is doing great on his oxygen levels. Hopefully we will get to go see them tomorrow after Samuel's basketball game. The suburban is fixed and back at home. Yea!!! The dog is hobbling around in his cast and his "cone of shame." This is what Rebekah called the thing around his head - from the movie "Up". I thought she made it up and cracked up! So of course that is what we call it now. Poor Snoopy! He is very smart. If he can't reach his food bowl, he will pick it up and move it closer to his mouth inside the "cone of shame."

Answers

Answer to prayer!!! Gideon's brain scan was slightly improved. This is good news! Thank you Lord! Now the doctor will keep track of his head circumference to decide when to do the next scan. If his head size remains normal, he will wait 2 weeks. This is all to determine that the fluid in his brain is draining as it should. Josiah's scan was fine. They will continue to move Gideon towards coming off the vent and are moving Josiah towards getting off his mask. The doctor is very pleased with their progress and once again they went up on their feeds. Gideon is at 24 cc's and Josiah is at 25 cc's. Today was the last day for Gideon to receive antibiotic and the nurse said he has had very little secretions when she suctions him. So he got his IV out (again). Hopefully we will get to go see them tomorrow night!

Another answered prayer: The suburban is fixed! Yea!

A third answered prayer: The dog's leg can be saved! I was really surprised when the vet said he could set it and splint it and he should regain use of it. Wow! Normally we wouldn't have taken it to the vet, but I wanted to see what they would tell me. I really thought they would have to amputate it, but it wasn't as bad as it looked. Snoopy was hard to get in the car but once I did he rode to town well because he had his buddy Isaac. Isaac (my 3 year old) insisted on sitting beside Snoopy and petting him all the way to town. Snoopy just laid his head in Isaac's lap. At one point I looked back and they were nose to nose. I'm sure there was some deep conversation taking place:-)

So a better end to a week that started pretty bad! Just a reminder that God takes care of us through everything from babies to vehicles to pets. He is an awesome God!

Waiting....

We are waiting to hear from the doctor about the brain scans for both boys. I will pass that along as soon as we do. I went to see them yesterday. They are getting bigger. Gideon weighs 2 lbs 9 ozs and Josiah weighs 2 lbs 15 ozs! Josiah cried pretty loud yesterday (for him). It still wasn't really loud. He was having another one of his tantrums! Josiah's platelet count was elevated yesterday too. So we will wait to see what comes of that. The suburban is fixed! Yea! It was the fuel pump. I'm taking the dog to the vet this afternoon for them to tell me if they can do anything for his leg. Fun, Fun! Never a dull moment around here!

Suburban for Sale

A couple of songs have really ministered to me during this journey we are on. One of them is "Praise His Name" by Jeff and Sheri Easter:

When everything falls apart, Praise His Name

When you have a broken heart, raise your hands and say

Lord you're all I need, you're everything to me

And He'll take the pain away.

When it seems you're all alone, Praise His Name

When you feel you can't go on, just raise your hands and say

Greater is He, that is within me

And you can praise the hurt away.

Another one is "Blessings" by Laura Story:

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise.

So it was this first song that I was thinking of when we sat in the parking lot of a mobile home dealership off I30 where our suburban so kindly left us stranded. While traveling to Dallas to see the babies, we got to Caddo Mills and it began to spit and sputter. We began to slow down and were almost joined at the bumper by a bright orange 18-wheeler:-) It died just before we got to the exit, but we managed to coast DOWN the exit ramp (thank you Lord that it went downhill) and turn into a parking lot. My wonderful mother-in-law made the 40 minute trip to come and get us and we made it back home without getting to see the boys. While we were disappointed to not be able to get to see them, we were praising God that we were not on the side of I30 or in the middle of Dallas.

This was after I ran over our 7-month old border collie, Snoopy, while he was chasing me down the driveway. He is alive, but his back leg is broken.

Another song comes to mind, "Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mama said."

Anyway, I just called to check on the boys and they are both doing well. They both like to play a game with their nurses called: she tucks me in, I kick everything off:-) Josiah not only likes to pull out his feeding tube, he has learned how to reach up and mess up his oxygen mask, setting off the alarms. Gonna be a fun time when these boys come home!!!

Gaining weight

Just a quick update: We went to see the boys last night and Gideon looks so much better! His color was much better and he was more alert and active. The nurse today said he has had a good day and starting at midnight they will begin to wean him off the vent. They will check his blood gases and see how he has done, so, MAYBE he could be off the vent by the end of this week. He weighed 2 lbs 6 ozs!!! We could tell he had put on weight since early in the week. He will have another brain scan on Wed.  Josiah is doing very good. He weighed 2 lbs 13 ozs. and his oxygen level is at room air. I finally got to hear him cry! Yes, he was mad, but the pacifier took care of it (as long as I held it in his mouth). When I let go of it was when he got irritated:-) Yes, I did let go of it on purpose!! I wanted to hear his sweet little cry.....someone remind me of this in 6 months.

First Solo Visit

Friday the 13th was a good day for the boys:-) I got to go over and spend all morning with them. Josiah had just had a "bath" without his mask and the nurse said he did very well. I got to hold him on my chest skin-to-skin - much better than wrapped in blankets! He just snuggled up and slept. It was a lot like holding a puppy because he's about the same size and he would make little whimpering noises like a puppy. I got to hold him for more than an hour this time. So sweet! He did get a little bit irritated and make some louder noises after the nurse put him back in his bed. He had pulled his feeding tube out (AGAIN!) and the nurse figured out he really liked his pacifier without the feeding tube in his mouth so she put the feeding tube in his nose. Josiah may only be 2 lbs 10 ozs and 1 month old, but he WILL let you know when he doesn't like something and he did NOT like that tube down his nose! He is a little stinker! The doctor is very pleased with his progress and said we just need to fatten him up now. Gideon was looking much better today. I did get to hold his hand today. He does have pneumonia so they will change the antibiotic to one more specific to fighting that. He was more alert and active today and seemed to be feeling better. The doctor seemed to think we may be able to have him off the vent in a week. Thanks to everyone for their continued prayers! Funny story: As I was leaving the hospital, I got to the parking garage only to find that the elevators were not working (hopefully no one was on them). Of all days to park on the 5th floor!! Yes I had to hike up the stairs! Great exercise, but after 2 1/2 months of bedrest and another month of limited activity, my muscles were not happy about it:-) Lucky for me I had my Chick-Fil-A waffle fries to snack on all the way up! Hee-Hee.....this is similar to eating your candy bar with a Diet Coke isn't it??? They cancel each other out, don't they?!!

Finally!

We went to see the boys last night and I finally got to hold Josiah!!! FOR AN HOUR!! He's so tiny. He's doing really well on his new "Darth Vader" oxygen mask. They went up on his feeds again. The Dr told me Gideon does have an infection - they just still aren't sure if its pneumonia, a blood infection, or what. He's still getting antibiotics. His brain scan was a little worse this time, but the doctor was not surprised by this. He said it will usually get worse before it gets better and he is very optimistic that it will be better next week when they repeat the scan. He said it is not so much worse that they will have to drain anything or do surgery so he was very pleased with that. We will go back over Friday so maybe they will have results back regarding the infection.

30 weeks OR 1 month

Today the twins are 30 weeks (gestational age) and tomorrow they will be one month old! Hard to believe. We have had some milestones this week! Josiah is doing fabulous! They are taking him off the vent today!!! Yea!!! This means we should be able to hold him in a couple of days after they see he is stable. He will have to wear a CPAP mask now which still provides oxygen but he is doing the breathing himself. He also got his IV out! Josiah is now eating 22cc's - the same as Gideon - and doing very well. He was awake when we were there the other night and he doesn't care for all the tubes and wires and he was trying to get rid of them. Believe it or not, I can't wait to hear him cry! Gideon's neural ultrasound was done this morning, but the doctor hasn't had a chance to read it. She said she would call me when she did and I'll pass along the info as soon as I can. The doctor told me Gideon had an episode and they had to bump his oxygen to 50%. She doesn't know if he has had a lung collapse or if he has pneumonia. They are running labs now and will go ahead and start antibiotic just in case. Hopefully they'll have results back from that by the time we go over this evening. Keep up the prayers! They are appreciated!

4 weeks old!

Just a quick update on the boys. They are doing really well. Josiah weighed 2 lbs 9.6 ozs yesterday. His feeds are up to 17cc's and they should take out his last IV today. They have started weaning both boys off the vents. They could be off the vents by the end of the week or it could take 2 weeks just depending on how they tolerate it. Josiah was sleeping on his tummy Saturday and he's really beginning to fill out. Gideon weighed 2 lbs 2 ozs on Saturday. They have increased his feeds to 20 cc's. He has been spitting up some so they are feeding him over a 2 hour period. He did better yesterday, only spitting up once. They will be repeating his brain scan (neuro ultrasound) this Wed. When we got there Saturday, the nurse had the top off Gideon's bed so we got to "cuddle" with him for a short while. We can't hold them until they are off the vents. Just talked to the nurses and they have moved Josiah into the same room as Gideon! Yea! Josiah is having a good day. Gideon is going to have to have some blood today. His numbers were low. Their blood tests this morning were ok - good enough to leave the lower vent setting in place, but not good enough to lower it again.

Who Do I Trust?

Do you ever wonder when you're going through a trial: Is this because of sin in my life and God is using this time to draw me closer to Him OR Is God using this trial as a means of refining me and drawing me closer to Him? I have been wondering that a lot these past few months. But I guess what it boils down to is, either way, God will use this time to draw us closer to Him, if we let Him. So we have made a choice. I'll get to that in a minute. Last night, I called to check on the boys and the nurse transferred me to the doctor so he could give me an update. OH BOY! I love doctors and God has gifted them (whether they believe that or not) and we truly believe the boys are where they need to be receiving the best possible care. However, I do not enjoy talking to the doctors! I'm sure some parents NEED all the information they give, we don't, so much! He wanted to tell me that they had repeated the sonogram on the boys' brains to check for any bleeds. They did this the first week of their life and didn't really find anything. This was a repeat of the same thing. Josiah's was good-no evidence of any bleeds. Gideon's was not so good. They found evidence of a bleed that apparently occurred sometime between the first scan and this one. The doctors were surprised because this typically shows up within the first 3 days of birth. There is no treatment other than to observe and then repeat the scan in a week or two to see if the blood has gone away or not. The doctor then went on to tell me that this makes Gideon more at risk for developmental delays. BUT he also said some babies have delays, some do not, only time will tell. Here's what we know: God created these babies when we were not planning for them; God made 2 babies when the odds for having 2 sets of twins (one fraternal and one identical) is a little mind-blowing; God made them enter the world at 26 weeks because they were in jeopardy of not surviving; God placed us where we needed to be, when we needed to be there.....God's got this! We don't know the outcome, but God does and as Pastor Rhoades said last night: There's not a path you're walking down or will walk down that God hasn't walked down ahead of you. We may not know what lies ahead but God does because he's already been there to prepare the way. So will we choose to trust God for this journey or not? We make the choice to trust Him, whatever the outcome. Does that mean we're not scared or anxious at times? Absolutely not! But knowing that He is in control makes it easier. Knowing that He is leading the way and carrying us in His arms makes it bearable. Please remember both boys in prayer, but especially Gideon that the bleed will clear up and the doctors will be just as surprised when they repeat the test and find nothing there to report.

Great Visit!

We went to see the boys last night and had a very good visit. They are doing really well! Josiah is getting feeds now! He started at 2 cc's, last night they told us he was getting 4 cc's every 3 hours and today, when I called, they had bumped it up to 8 cc's. I got to check his temperature and change his diaper last night. He had a large poopy diaper! Yea! Josiah is a little stinker and can throw a fit like I've never seen. He had pulled his feeding tube out last night! I don't know about that boy. I'm sure he'll be a tough one! Josiah weighed 2lbs 6ozs last night. Gideon is doing well too. He is at what they consider full feeds, so he'll stay at that for a while to make sure he can tolerate it long-term. He has had all of his IV's taken out! Yea! He weighed 1lb 15ozs last night. He was still under the phototherapy light last night, but they have taken him off that this morning. Today was first day back at school for everyone except Isaac. He is getting some Mommy time today! I think Mommy will be exhausted by the end of the day:-)

Sunday's visit

We had a very good visit with the boys yesterday. They are looking bigger already. Gideon finally hit the 2lb mark!!! Both boys have not had to be under the phototherapy light in a while, but I just talked to the nurses today and Gideon had to get back under his. Gideon is doing so much better on his oxygen. He is eating very well (15cc's every 3 hours). Yesterday they even had a pacifier in his bed with him. It looked as big as his head, but he was able to suck on the tip of it. The nurse said he was rooting around and that seemed to calm him. Still haven't gotten to touch him, but hopefully won't be much longer. Josiah was stirred up yesterday. His nurse told us he gets very upset when he has a wet diaper and wants it changed immediately! Boy, oh boy, he is in for a rude awakening when he comes home to the Stanley house! We believe in getting our money's worth out of those diapers!! Josiah was being a little toot yesterday. Before I left he got VERY upset and was pitching a fit---he would have been screaming, and he was waving his arms and kicking his feet. All of this made his oxygen level drop so the nurse had to adjust his levels. He was not a happy camper. I did get to touch Josiah yesterday. The nurse let me put my arms in his bed and hold his head in my hand and rest my other hand on his chest. Yes, his little head fit in the palm of my hand. He really enjoyed that and it calmed him down for the moment. Hopefully he will get to start eating again in a couple of days. Please pray for us as the kids go back to school Wednesday that we will figure out some sort of routine for visiting the boys and managing things here as well.